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Alan Clarke

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Alan Clarke is a YEC and delugionist. He first appeared on the Titanoboa thread, the precursor to the Endless Thread. Because of his arguments, the Pharyngula commentariat were treated to intelligent and informative lectures by Josh and Alan B on geology and David Marjanović on all sorts of topics. Alan Clarke was banned when he told of his sexual attraction to a ten year old and later marriage to a woman young enough to be his daughter.

Quotes Edit

  • Science is good for some things but I don't see much applicability when I'm visiting a hospital room of a terminally ill person. [1]
  • Are prayers sometimes answered with miracles? I had my heart set on a young girl who was 14 years my junior. I never said anything to her because of the age difference and thought I should at least wait until she was 18. I prayerfully waited for 8 years only to be let down when a young man got her pregnant then married her later. At that stage I was about 33 years old and gave up on the idea of marrying anyone young or anyone at all since my preferences were always someone much younger than myself. When I was 44 years old and content with my single status, I saw my wife-to-be who was 16. Been married for 9 years, 3 kids, and loving every minute. [2]
  • Why would I quote Wikipedia which often contradicts my arguments such as the Earth's age? Remember the story of the 3 blind men describing what an elephant is like? One guy felt a leg, another the tail and the third the trunk. Each man's description of the elephant was different. Sometimes the varied descriptions intersect: skin texture and smell. I refer to Wikipedia because the points of "intersection" often support creationist theory. If a blind evolutionist grabs the elephant's penis and notices that the more he studies it the longer it gets, he will surely extrapolate his findings to conclude the penis will reach the Moon one million years from now. There are often built-in limits that evolutionists fail to acknowledge such as the limits of genetic variation.
Q: How do monkeys turn into men?


A: The same way an elephant's penis reaches the moon. [3]
  • If a law forces rapists to marry their victims, then perhaps the number of rapes will decline to near zero. What’s more, if the law requires rapists to pay fifty shekels of silver to the father, this could indeed equate to the death penalty if the rapist hasn’t saved toward his bride’s future. Thus, we have narrowed down the field of rapists who marry their victims to only those who have saved for their “brides” future. If the girl happens to be ugly, he is required to marry her anyway. Again, this stipulation will help narrow the field further since potential rapists will be motivated to think before acting. Thirdly, if one “selects” his wife through means of rape, then he’ll never be able to divorce her even if “she” turns out to be a transvestite. The law is putting so many roadblocks into the potential rapist’s path, and causing him to think, I would guess most potential rapists would opt for the easier path of waiting for a willing partner. Thus, such a society could easily exceed the American society in quality by many fold. [4]
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